Friday, December 23, 2011

Lullaby

I really miss holding Jonah each night and singing to him.  I don't have the best voice.  My brother will tell you that I often change key mid song.  When the notes get too high, especially with children's songs, I just stop singing, then resume when it comes back to an acceptable range.  I have a horrible memory for lyrics, and often repeat myself.  Most would not describe my singing as beautiful, but it always felt beautiful when I sang to Jonah. 

I sang to him even before he had his hearing aid.  When he was a newborn and crying I would hold his soft cheek against mine and sing "Baby Beluga," hoping the sound would travel through our connected bodies to his perfect inner ear.  It always soothed him. 

At night he would drink his bottle and play with my hair while I sang to him.  I sang him the same songs over and over: You are My Sunshine, Baby Beluga, I am a Child of God, I Know My Savior Loves Me, and He Sent His Son.  I often thought I should sing him something new, but I could never think of anything else to sing.  In all my years of teaching, not to mention being raised by a preschool teacher, it surprised me that I could not think of any other songs.  So these were our lullabies. 

In the hospital, as I held his body, I sang him these songs again.  My singing was stifled by tears and anguish, but I still sang to him.  It was beautiful.  The lyrics found new meaning to me as I sang... 

You are My Sunshine
You Are My Sunshine
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away


I am a Child of God
I am a child of God,
And he has sent me here,
Has given me an earthly home
With parents kind and dear.
Lead me, guide me, walk beside me,
Help me find the way.
Teach me all that I must do
To live with him someday

I Know My Savior Loves Me
I know He lives!
I will follow faithfully.
My heart I give to Him.
I know that my Savior loves me.

I will never forget the sacred sweetness of singing to my baby Jonah one last time.  Lately I have been thinking about Christmas and one of these beautiful lullabies is floating around my heart and mind, He Sent His Son.  Those four words are so significant to me this Christmas.  John 3:16 reminds us, 

For God so loved the world, that He gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. 

This is an amazing scripture.  The phrase that He gave His only begotten Son pierces my heart, as I think about losing my only son.  I am grateful for the promises of Christmas.  I am grateful for the hope of everlasting life.  I am grateful He sent His son.

At the end of the song it says...

What does the Father ask of us?
What do the scriptures say?
Have faith, have hope, live like his Son,
Help others on their way.

What does he ask?
Live like his Son.

I am trying this Christmas season to have faith, to have hope, to live like His Son, and to help others on their way.  So far it has been a season filled with simplicity, love, and beauty.  I hope you can find peace in this simple lullaby, and have a meaningful and merry Christmas! 


3 comments:

  1. remind me to tell you what Lane shared with me about the moment you sang to Jonah in the ER room.

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  2. One of the most spiritual experiences I have ever had was singing to Acel late one night when he was a baby. There is something amazing about a mother singing to her baby.

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  3. Beautiful post, Julie. Those songs are all wonderful lullabies. I look forward to a day when sweet Jonah can hear your lullabies again. (((hugs))) and Merry Christmas!

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