Monday, January 9, 2012

Better Late than Never

I know it is cliche to say "better late than never."  Like all cliches it is said so often because there is truth at its core.  In the past three months I have learned that sometimes late is not only better than never...but late can be perfect timing. 

For weeks after Jonah died we received so much mail.  I longed for the mail to come, because it gave me strength.  Cards, letters, money...some from dear friends, some from acquaintances, some from total strangers.  It was overwhelming and beautiful and kind.  I was so grateful that people took the time to write a note or email and let me know of their grief at Jonah's passing.  It helped me to know that friends prayed for us, and wept with us.  Gradually this mail has tapered off.  When I go to the mailbox now I find the usual...ads, bills, etc...  But every so often I get a card or a note about Jonah. 

I wonder when I open these cards if the author was hesitant to send it.  Maybe she thought she was too late, that she should have acted sooner.  But the arrival of these notes is perfect for me.  As the world moves on and I have fewer natural conversations about my beautiful boy, I am so grateful that someone is thinking of him, that someone is thinking of me. 

I often feel like time is sweeping me down a swift river and I have left Jonah on the shore.  No matter how I try I cannot fight the current that pulls me away from his existence.  Another cliche...time marches on.  There is no stopping the progress of life, no going back.  These simple notes are like calm pools of water where I can stop for a moment.  They are a resting place. They bring me hope and usually make me cry.  I need moments that make me cry.  Sometimes I can't cry on my own.

If you are a sender of tardy notes, thank you.  Thank you for sending your love to me, whether quickly or slowly.  I truly need it.  I hope you will remember that beautiful words, and kind acts are always needed.  It is never too late.

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.  Ecclesiastes 3:1

video
Here is a video of Jonah listening to music and licking tupperware, for your enjoyment.  It makes me laugh.

6 comments:

  1. I am so grateful for technology that helped you capture magic moments like this in Jonah's way too short life. I love you!

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  2. I think of him all the time. I think about how our sons could have met one day and I know my Garrett missed the chance to have a very dear friend.

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  3. That video gave me such a great laugh. Thanks for sharing it and thanks for sharing Jonah. I love him.

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  4. I dont personally know you, nor did I know your sweet litte boy. I have been reading your blog for about a month, It has been so special to read what you feel and remember about Jonah. I didnt loose a child, my husband was sick and passed away 15 months ago. Your blog has touched my heart and helped me through my grief and healing. So many of our feelings and thoughts are the same. I pray for your peace and comfort through this rough time. Thank you for sharing something so personal.

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  5. Julie,

    You don't know me, but I am Alta's friend. She has shared your story with me and I have been following your blog. You are such an inspiration to me, I love reading about you and your sweet little Jonah. Thanks so much for writing this! My sister-in-law's baby died in November and I have been building a care package for her that has taken forever. Just yesterday I was seriously thinking of bagging the whole thing because I was too late and I worried that it might seem inauthentic to her. I will definitely finish it up and give it to her. Thank you!
    Nicole

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  6. I wonder what Jonah is doing. I wonder what he looks like as someone in his prime. I wonder who he is associating with. I wonder what he remembers from his short life. I wonder if he can peep in on you and Jordan. I wonder what he would say to you if he could communicate to you literally. If he kept a blog, I wonder what it would say....
    Yes, there are people out there who think of your Jonah.

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