I don't feel like writing much tonight, or carefully crafting a blog post, but I do want to share this experience before time passes and I forget.
Jordan and I are a little fanatical about Harmon's grocery store. We go out of our way to shop there for meat and produce and cheese. They have a cheese monger which we both think is awesome. Anyway, we make a special trip every week to get our groceries there even though it is 30 minutes away. We used to take Jonah with us, and the checkers would give him a free balloon when we left the store. He loved balloons. Going to Harmon's was our little family outing for the week, so simple, but so enjoyable.
We still make our weekly trek to Harmon's, and last week was no different. We started at the bread counter as usual. The bread guy is probably one of the friendliest people I have ever met. He always says hi to us, even if we are just walking by him. He radiates kindness and enthusiasm. When Jonah died I honestly thought, the bread guy at Harmon's will be so sad that Jonah is gone. Each time we went to Harmon's I wanted to tell him what happened to Jonah, but I felt a little weird about it. I don't even know the bread guy's name, and I figured it would be a little awkward to tell him about the death of my child as I ordered a loaf of sourdough. So we continued to say hi and wave and buy baguettes as if nothing had happened.
But then last week, as he handed us a sample of bread, he stopped us. He said "I know that I don't even know your names, and we only see each other once a week, but I've noticed that your baby isn't with you. You always had him with you, and I've just been worried that something happened to him."
I felt the tears come instantly. We explained what happened, and this kind man listened, and seemed genuinely sad. It may sound weird but I was so happy he noticed and wondered and worried about Jonah. I was touched that he was courageous enough to ask us, and to express his sorrow. It was a sweet simple conversation that validated my belief that Jonah made a significant impression in his short life. I felt grateful that now, six months later, someone was thinking about him, and about us. I was so moved by his compassion.
After talking for a moment we gathered up our bread and said goodbye. I realized as we walked away that I still don't know the bread guy's name, and he doesn't know mine. So next week I will introduce myself to him when we pick up our bread, and I think I will also tell him that I hope to be as kind and compassionate as he is someday.
And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst. John 6:35
I'm glad the bread man had the courage to stop and ask, too. Soft hearts are the best!
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